Monday, August 31, 2009
Well let me give you the annoying update! Last weekend my darling hubby took our family up to Park City for my little girls 3rd birthday. Well there's pretty good shopping up there so we took advantage and went to the outlets. We were having pretty good luck finding things that fit. (usually a challange) when my husband wanted to go into polo to look at their dress shirts. Well just our luck. there was a sales ASSociate standing at the front, I'm guessing he was there to greet customers, but instead of feeling welcome he totally gave us a discusted look and rolled his eyes. I saw the whole thing and was really annoyed by it, in fact kinda hurt. Just cuz 2 "bigger" people walked into your store doesn't mean you have to judge us! So I said out loud "that was really rude of him to look at us that way" i said it loud enough for him to hear. & I know he heard it cuz he looked at me and slowly walked to the back of the store. I was really to the point of just mentioning something to one of the other associates, when I saw one of them who was bigger than me! I couldn't believe it, I felt bad for her, I mean if one of her co-workers was glaring at us, then how does he treat her? Ugh. Let me say it really ruined my happy shopping moment. But we left the store and I pushed it to the back of mind. Well I wanted to go into American Eagle and check out what's Hot, and I found some cute stuff, but again i saw the glances, this time from High school girls. I know I know it shouldn't affect me that much, I mean heck I have 3 kids plus i'm older then them, but come on it still bugs. so that was it i turned around walked out and said I'm done. How frustrating. it was just overwhelming. I mean how did I let myself get this way?
Another really frustrating thing, I was looking in the mirror, which I shouldn't do, but I do it anyway. I saw what?! Stretch marks! how gross, i mean isn't having to expose my fat arms to the world enough? now I have stretch marks to scare people? ugh, it really was rough. I couldn't stop thinking about it, i got in bed and my husband could tell something was wrong. I couldn't help but have tears in my eyes and I just told him "why did I let myself become this way?" ya really sad. So he had encouraging words and told me how beautiful I am, and said that I can do this.
So here's the good news. I haven't been munching as much. I have made better choices and I am just not really hungry. I feel like I can change. I am going to focus on my eating and get it in check and then start my exercise program. I don't want my kids to think it's okay to be unhealthy, i also don't want them to not be able to hug me with their arms all the way around me.
so back to the entry a while ago. my goal I still can accomplish my small simple goal. How are you doing on yours? lets keep in touch...
I'm not gonna let what happened to us in Park City get me down. I'm not gonna let other people crush me. right?! Nope I'm not! I'm gonna just let it motivate me. So the moral of my stories? when you fall of your horse climb back up and keep riding...
Friday, August 21, 2009
"ya cuz chewing bazooka got me a fat butt!" -Kevin James (sweat the small stuff.
I don't know about you but Kevin James is pure genius! he is so cleaver about being fat, it just cracks me up, & I relate on so many levels.
In one of his comedy routines he talks about getting weight-loss advice from people who are bigger than you. I just laugh because to be honest I'm the one usually giving the advice. Well to be fair I would like to say I study up a lot on health and weight loss and I really do know about what works what doesn't, good exercises, and all that jazz. My problem is putting it in to affect.
So here's what up:
* try not to eat carbs after 3ish
*if you can don't eat after 7pm or in my case 9pm cuz i get super shaky from my hypoglycemia
* you really need to get your heart-rate up for at least 45mins to an hour
(just a nice stroll in the park isn't enough, i mean great for you getting out and all but make it really worth it, just a slow pace walk won't cut it folks)
*You really do need a positive mind. if you focus on all the negative then don't even begin trying to lose weight. weight-loss is not only physical but mental.
*set small simple goals, like drop 10 pounds in a month or even smaller then that. Just ones that realistically can be done.
*keep fruits and veggies ready to eat, cut up your veggies and put them in a bag or bowl right where your eye can see when you open up the fridge, same thing with fuits. Out of sight means out of mind, so if you don't see those bright yummy foods you usually don't think to eat 'em.
*really in many cases you should cut out all the "bad junk food", but in majority of us we deprive ourselves we end up OVER induldging and bam back to square one, so if you really have to have some chocolate have the 90% coco (dark chocolate) and set out like one or two bites and put the rest away before you even bite in. like store it in the freezer so it takes longer to enjoy or have someone you live with hide your "treat" and get you a couple every once in a while.
*just plain and simple don't keep the junk in your home, your most likely not gonna drive somewhere to get it. and if so go to the frozen yogurt parlor and get the smallest one. that way you don't have a gallon of ice cream in your freezer tempting you for more.
*if you do have one of those "oops! I just ate the whole bag" then don't fret, start over your next meal, don't put it off till tomorrow. just cuz you ate bad for lunch doesn't mean you can't eat better for dinner. we all mess up every now and again, jump back in! don't give up!
See what i'm saying I have great stuff about weight loss I just suck at doing it. So please do take my advice and get going. (yes i'm talking to myself too!)
So here's what's been going on. I know i've missed a few days but I'll be honest it's been an interesting few days. Plus my computer sucks and sometimes doesn't work. So I had a really bad day on wednesday. I was so upset that instead of feeling my pain and eating I actually didn't eat, I had no appetite. weird I know usually if I have a day like I did then there goes all food in sight. But I even tried to eat and i physically couldn't. so either that's an improvement or because i was so upset my body and mind just wouldn't allow food. & I didn't really over induldge when things got better and I did get my appetite back!
Now on my sad note, yesterday was a family reunion at a swimming pool, and we did not attend. Well one reason my husband was coaching football and we all went to support him and my nephew playing and second and most imortant I was not going to get in my swimsuit in front of my husbands whole family. cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I do feel bad I would have liked to see everyone and I know my kids would have loved swimming, but I honestly just couldn't do it. Nope not getting in my swimsuit until i drop a few. Ya and we are suppose to go to Hawaii and last time I was there I basically lived in my swimsuit, so I better get going, cuz I'm not, not going to enjoy my trip!
Oh then at the football game yesterday I remembered that I was going to be "smaller" next time I saw all those people and Oops! nope I wasn't, now I was prego last time I saw them, but I was going to be one of those "wow you had a baby and you look great!" dang see I let myself down, but I'm not gonna get down about it, i'm gonna do what I can, try and be confident and just be smaller by the end of football season! Hey they can watch the transformation, that would be cool.
All in all it was an okay few days I guess. sure why not. Yep I'm trying to be positive and I'm gonna be healthier and happier. Come on we can do this together.
So lets set our goals together. And as we meet them lets set new ones. and continue till we get where we want to be! remember small and simple to start!
"I will be 5 lbs. lighter by the 4th of August." (remember slow and steady wins the race)
now leave yours in the comment box and lets do this together!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Now back to those 2 girls that laughed at me. I don't hate them, I'm hurt by what they did at the store, but i'm not gonna be rude or talk crap on them. I just hope they one day realize that being jerks won't get them far in life...
Sad huh, wow that kinda helped me. I guess now I realize even more why I don't want to see people I knew from back then. Huh, funny how talking about somethings really opens doors to reasons of pain or why I don't do certain things now. Thanks guys what great therapists you are!
Speaking of high school, do you ever wish you could go back? I just watched 17 again this weekend. I know it's a teen movie, but it really made me think. What would I do different if I could go back. Well first off I wouldn't have worried so much about boys, one impaticular. and I would have taken more advantage of being "just in high school" come one really think about it. You shouldn't have worries. I mean really none of that stuff matters now, who cares if you were the head cheerleader or the football star. The only thing you should care about are the memories. were you the jerk in high school or did you want to have friends, even with the "unpopular" ones. I mean I'd like to think I was friends with everyone. But maybe I did something rude to someone. I would like to be the first to say i'm sorry. really i am sorry from the bottom of my little chubby heart. I never wanted to hurt people. I know I had a few spiffs with certain people along the way but i'm sorry.
wow that feels great too! if this blog doesn't help anyone at least i'm feeling better and really expressing myself! Now here's my challenge to you. Leave your comments and what I want you to do is tell someone you're sorry, tell them you're sorry for whatever. you can use real names or leave your comment anonymously. Just do it. Be brave and balls up and say you're sorry.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Do you ever talk with your friends or whoever and go over and over how you hate being this way or that "if only I could change this..." or "I would give anything.." Yup that's me! I do that lots, ecspecially with one of my sister-in-laws. Well then if I would give anything then, why not give up my favorite treat or give up a few minutes of my time to go exercise? well let's be honest I just might not want it that bad to do that. right? Serious if someone really wants something then usually they get up and do whatever it takes. So oaky here I am wanting to not necessarily be super thin and skinny, but skinnier healthier. so what am I gonna do to make it happen? Hmmm, well I am gonna start by giving up some time on other lazy things I do and get my sneakers on and exercise. There I said it to all of you, now it's not only on my shoulders to do it, but on yours too! you know I said i'd do it, so now check up on me! I expect you to. That's how it's gonna have to work I need support and pressure. I work well under pressure. (come on bran I do, i might pull my hair, but I do get what needs to be done, done :0) )
i was a young 11 year old girl going through the awkward stages of being a 6th grader, i remember thinking to my hot young not quite grown into my body self, "UGH i'm fat!" i mean come on i know 11 doesn't seem young now-a-days to start thinking "I'm fat" but really back way back when it kinda was. While most girls i knew where worried about if they should still play barbies or start shaving their legs, I was with my friends calling boys and asking them to do a "rating call" and for those of you who don't remember or know what that is i'll explain. a rating call is where a bunch of you and your friends call up the cute popular boys in school, try to disguise your voice and ask them to rate 3 or more girls on a scale from 1 through 10 and you know how it goes: 1 is super ugly wouldn't kiss, 3 is you'd kiss but not tell anyone you did, 5 you'd kiss cuz their kinda cute and you'd only tell your best friend you did, 7 you'd kiss and wouldn't mind telling anyone, and a 9 or 10 for sure you'd kiss and brag to everyone!!! so while putting yourself through the torture of seeing what the boys thought of you on that dreaded scale, you hold your breath and pray they give you at least a 5, and of course they never go lower then a 5 cuz their moms taught them to "be nice" right?! now are we on the same page? so anyway back to worrying about my tummy being fat. so ya if for some strange reason i got that "5"( only cuz i believed i was being compared on the list with the cutest girls in school, heather, natalee, crystal, brittney, you know you were the prettiest ones girls don't deny it!) so ya being a "5" was NOT good. why do we put ourselves through so much, just to set ourselves up for hurt feelings or whatever? You do have to admit though, that it is funny "rating" calls oh man I was halrious. don't lie you did it too...